First thing we do, let's kill all the savages

Sometimes RandZapper knows we've found a good one just by the title alone. Case in point: an essay by Ron Pisaturo titled "Why and How to Conquer the Savages."

Pisaturo is described as an "actor, playwright, screenwriter, philosopher, and management consultant." We guess he's also a geopolitical strategist, if we can judge by this sterling contribution to Capitalism Magazine. According to his Web site, Pisaturo also founded the American Renaissance School, a private school created to indoctrinate high school kids in Randian death-worship. (Not that he puts it this way.)

Writing only a couple of weeks after 9-11, the multitalented actor/writer/philosopher/consultant/educator has already mapped out a detailed plan of attack against America's enemies. First he solemnly informs us that America is "the most moral nation in history" because it's based on "rational selfishness." So far, just Randian boilerplate. But now he goes for the money shot:

It has been common knowledge for decades that the governments of Iran, Iraq, Libya, Syria, Sudan, Afghanistan and other nations are murderous regimes. We need not--and should not--wait to find out which of them, if any, committed the latest murders. These governments are already guilty of prior mass murders and should have been exterminated long ago....

We must destroy not only those governments that "harbor" terrorists in the future, but also those that have harbored terrorists in the past--which means all those mentioned above....

After our nuclear and other overwhelming attacks, we must demand the total surrender of these evil regimes. We must confiscate all oil properties of all Arab nations, even so-called moderate ones such as Saudi Arabia and Kuwait....

The U.S. should confiscate the stolen oil properties, and then return those properties to their rightful owners--Western oil companies--if those companies agree to pay the cost of waging this war....

Sounds like a popular policy, doesn't it? Has Pisaturo ever heard the expression, "No blood for oil"?

Our standard of value must be: The rights of one American, whether a soldier or a civilian, are worth more than the lives of all men, women and children in all these nations combined.

Not just the life, but even the rights of one American are worth more than a billion human lives. Oh, but we forgot: the billion in question aren't human. They're "savages."

Over time, pioneers, with the paid support of our military, can go into these isolated territories, subdue the remaining savages, install a civilized, colonial government protecting the rights of both the pioneers and the savages, and settle the land--as American pioneers subdued the savage, murderous American Indian tribes and settled America....

When people say Randism is a throwback to the 19th century, it might be this kind of thing they're talking about. "Pioneers" "subduing" "savages" to install a "civilized, colonial government"? And while we're at it, let's massacre them dirty redskins!

Our problem began when we Americans, failing to defend our rational self-interest, put wealth in the hands of savages by letting them rob our oil fields. It will end when we use our might, including our nuclear arsenal, to crush their evil governments, take back our property, and isolate, colonize, and settle the lands the savages now roam.

Actually I think Pisaturo's problems began when he read Ayn Rand and allowed her polluted worldview to corrode whatever mental faculties he may possess. Now hopelessly in thrall to his twisted mistress, the actor/writer/philosopher/consultant/educator/aspiring mass murderer can only dream sweet dreams of world domination. Fortunately, Pisaturo is unlikely even to sell one of his screenplays, let alone acquire the power and influence necessary to let slip the dogs of nuclear war.

You can read more of Pisaturo's radioactive musings at his above-linked Web site - but not much more of them, because in most cases he provides only a sample, with the full article available for purchase at the low, low price of anywhere from $10 to $40! Sounds like a bargain to us!

Prudently, at the conclusion of Pisaturo's genocidal diatribe, his editors add this note: "The views expressed here are those of the author and do not necessarily represent the views of Capitalism Magazine."

It would have been simpler and more straightforward to say: "The views expressed here are obviously nuts and would not ordinarily be encountered outside of an insane asylum."

Or in the pixellated pages of RandZapper, of course!