Monday, May 7, 2007

Bob Kolker, Come On Down!

The newest Randsucking toadie to be immortalized in our pixellated pages is one Robert J. Kolker, a frequent contributor to Randian message boards.

Here's some vintage Kolker wisdom on human nature and the war on terror:

Our survival depends on us being mean discompassionate [sic] bastards. Lean, mean, nasty and unsentimental is how we will surive [sic] the Islamic onslought [sic].

If you want to see how compassionate most humans are see how they fight for the remaining few seats on the life boat of a sinking ship, once the women and children have their seats.

Compassion is shit and is the disease of weaklings.

If being an uncompassionate asshole is the key to survival, Kolker can expect to live forever! More Kolker wisdom from the same thread:

Anyone who makes war against this nation should be destroyed and his property ruined. Furthermore his children should be killed so that our grandsons do not have to fight his grandsons down the line. We simply eliminate his children so there will be no grandsons. The principle is simple: all wars will be fought until the enemy is exterminated root and branch. If we do this consistently, no one will dare attack us. The idea is to get the folks of other nations to shit in their pants if they even think of attacking us.

When Rome was at her prime few ever thought of attacking rome [sic]. After Rome become Christianized the barbarians not only attacked, but succeeded. At one time, Rome just sent in her legions to solve any problems. It worked fine. In addition the Romans got the chariots and wagons to run on time.Lean, mean, merciless = survival.

Yeah, the Romans "got the chariots to run on time" - just like Mussolini got the trains to run on time. Gotta love these hardcore individualists, huh? They never met a fascist they didn't like.

A Google Groups search shows that compulsive poster Kolker (49,835 messages!) spends an inordinate amount of time posting on Battlestar Galactica newsgroups. Obviously this is a guy with way too much time on his hands. Betweeen watching BSG and rereading Atlas Sucked for the 7,659th time, how can he expect to accomplish anything of value? Oh, wait ... he doesn't.

Kolker on how we need a revolution:

If I were REALLY out to do bloodshed do you think a visit by the Feds would stop me? I assure you this visit will not stop me from expressing my hatred for the injustice practiced by your government on innocent citizens. Nor will it stop [me] from wishing, dreaming fantasizing that someone will REALLY do what I have merely spoken of. And if it comes to pass that it REALLY happens, I will praise, laud and sing good songs about those who do the deed. I am sorry I do not have the courage to DO what I merely speak or write about. But that is my limitation. I have a hesitation to put myself in a position to be sent to prison. I prefer being outside the bars and not within them.If you ask me do I morally disapprove of such bloodshed, I surely DO NOT. If such things really did happen it would make my day double time.Where is Guy Fawkes when we really need him?

Guy's probably hangin' with John Galt and Francisco. Meanwhile, here's a snippet of Kolker's nonviolent political philosophy (quoted here):

A good way to stop theft is to kill thieves. How much taxes will the Fed collect when tax collectors become frequent targets along with the Congressmen who legislate even more taxes. One simply makes it unhealthy to perpetuate these Abominations, and they will stop....

In the mean time [sic] I content myself by not raising a finger to help Statist swine. On two occasions I passed by accidents where I could have helped, but because I knew the victims to be employees of the IRS. I passed them by and let them bleed. The Lord hath delivered them into my hand. At this juncture this is the best I can do.I have tax collecting pirate thugs taking what is rightfully mine. I wouldn't mind setting the IRS on fire though. If I did, I would also play my fiddle and laugh a lot as the bastards burned alive.

Kolker on law enforcement (same thread):

There are good cops and bad cops but they ALL get paid with stolen money. That makes ALL the cops accomplices and beneficiaries of theft.

Kolker on government employees (ditto):

The unarmed clerks who scheduled the trains carrying Jews to the death camps were just trying to make a living. The unarmed clerks over at Gestapo headquarters typing up lists of people to be arrested and tortured were just earning a living. And they all thought they were doing it for the good of the Fatherland.

It is time and past time the victims got theirs. A death here, a death there and pretty soon the people doing evil realize there is a butchers [sic] bill to be paid and it is long overdue. ...

Time for the victims to collect for the damages done to them. The easiest payment to collect is a pound of flesh and a bucket of blood.

Kolker on his own mental condition (ditto again):

I am sick to the death the [sic] of being sheared like a sheep for its wool. Futherermore [sic] the thought of my children and grandchildren and their children being squeezed and milked and used by creatures unworthy to breath [sic] the same air as they fills me with great anger. I will never be compensated for the wrongs done to me, not in my lifetime, but I want to do what I can to prevent this from happening to my progeny.

Ravings indeed. Righteous indignation, just and condign anger. The rage of the honest against the dishonest. Ravings.

At least he's got it partly correct. He's raving, all right.

Kolker on the Golden Rule (here):

Here is a good rule to follow. Cherish and protect your friends. Destroy your enemies. Very simple.

When someone quotes Jesus to the contrary, Kolker opines:

Jesus was a nut. No wonder he got nailed to two boards.

Someone asks Kolker, apropos the war on terror, which Muslims he would like to kill. His all-too-predictable answer:

Since there is no practical way of separating the bad ones from the good ones, we should kill them all.

Pressed on this point, Kolker goes Oedipal:

I prefer killing the bastards. My father taught me, never get mad. Rather, get even. It is now time to sink below the level of our enemies so we can attack them from beneath.

He even has a cute neologism for his policy:

That is why I lable [sic] my Modest Proposal ethnocide.

He can't type or spell, but he can kill billions.

We've only scratched the surface of the bottomless cornucopia of insanities released by this sad excuse for a human being. For hours of entertainment, just use your Goo-Goo-Googly eyes.

The pitiful mess that is Objectivism is personified by Robert J. Kolker. For his prolific flights of homicidal insanity, he is hereby inducted into the RandZapper Hall of Fame.