Monday, May 7, 2007


Greetings! RandZapper here. Our mission statement: to corral the craziest utterances of Ayn Rand fans around the Web and post them for your reading pleasure.

First up, say hello to one Ralph C. Whaley, MD. The good doctor likes to recommend Rand's sophomoric essays as the cure-all for America's foreign and domestic policy blues.

Here's Whaley on fighting terrorism:
This battle is good vs. evil. We are good and they are evil. Arafat and his minions must be killed if Israel is to live. Bin Laden and his minions must be killed if America is to survive. The Governments that make Arafat's and Bin Laden's terrorist attacks possible must be destroyed and replaced with secular, moral governments as America did in Germany and Japan after WW ll. That includes Pakistan, Iran, Saudi Arabia, Syria, Iraq and all the lesser Muslim Dictatorships.
Well, that clears everything up, doesn't it? We're good, they're bad, so we just have to kill 'em all. Easy as pie.

Notice how Whaley runs out of the energy necessary to type in all the countries he wants to destroy, so he just peters out with "all the lesser Muslim Dictatorships." (It seems to be a characteristic feature of these Web warriors that they Capitalize Words Unnecessarily.)

The above opinion by Doc Whaley was written in '02, before we invaded Iraq. Since then, we've discovered it's not so easy to destroy a government and replace it with a "secular, moral" one. Lotsa heavy lifting involved. And that's just in one case. We've still got Pakistan, Iran, Saudi Arabia, Syria, and the "lesser" dictatorships left to go! Better stock up on bodybags!

Oh, and here's Dr. Whaley, humanitarian:
The Supreme Court ruling that the PGA must allow Casey Martin to ride a cart while competing in tournaments has punished healthy PGA members. Free men in a nation of individual rights may make associations with other individuals by mutual agreement. This right includes rules of the game determined by the members of the voluntary association. If a crippled golfer chooses to form a tour of players using golf carts, he is free to do it. Martin's incapacity is not the fault of the healthy PGA players.
Wouldn't you like this guy to be your doctor? I wonder if he treats his "crippled" patients this way.

For more pearls of Whaley wisdom, do the Google thing.